Wearing: Zara Black Belted Blazer (shop similar here and here), Hermes Oran Sandals (similar here and here and cheaper alternative here), Mango Jeans (similar and here), Mango Earrings (love these), Urban Outfitters Basket Bag (another option here), and Céline Sunglasses via Pretavoir (budget option)
Shop the Look:
You can’t go wrong with a belted blazer outfit to stick to work and business dress etiquette, yet at the same time manage to keep things easy and comfortable during hot summer days.
Do you know why most people are not interested in reality? Because reality isn’t pretty, it isn’t pleasant and it certainly isn’t fun no matter how much you try to make it seem to be with your ‘everyday life’ pictures! In fact, it’s far too inconvenient for many to want to really see it, it’s far too unpleasant to really have to be reminded of it, let alone on your Instagram feed, since you recur to it as a source of distraction and release from…… *drums roll*…. reality (see the irony?).
Do you really want to know what is ‘real’? No matter how much a lot of people insist on it, very, very few are interested in reality, because most are only interested in the superficial reality of imagery. The vast majority are interested in a ‘socially accept-ed/able’ reality painted by social media. This socially accepted reality is comprised of and limited to allegedly ‘unstaged’, grainy mobile phone pictures shot in allegedly random locations and never in what is really going on inside such an excessively competitive, ruthless field where so many people involved are elbowing each other and doing nasty things in order to climb higher on the social media following ladder. All that while they are tagging their content #femaleempowerment to the point of saturation. Now, the latter is the kind of reality no one wants to hear and it is a reality that will ironically make these same people asking for ‘unstaged pictures’ to start feeling uneasy and even angry if you dare to talk about it. If you point out these things really going on, they will start calling you ‘negative’ and will proceed to unfollow.
While I refuse to believe in the cliché consisting of people interested in or working in fashion being superficial or like in The Devil Wears Prada, it does seem that for many in this field reality is all about and limited to the surface and never in what’s within it.
The more ‘real’ pictures seem, feel, or simulate to be, the more acceptable they are. But you know what is real? Grainy or simulating to not be staged, you are not posting the other 40 pictures you took with your phone in the same exact allegedly ‘random’ place where you are standing. You are not posting those pictures you didn’t like where you could see your double chin or your belly stuffed from just having a big lunch, so please, just cut out the BS and stop lecturing me on reality. You didn’t post those pictures that are VERY real, because you didn’t like them and because you knew people wouldn’t like them either. However, you did post that seemingly unstaged picture because you knew for a fact that it would get more likes. Now, THAT is real.
You are still extra getting dressed to make those pictures with that piece that was gifted to you by a brand, which also happened to pay you for it. You are still spending an hour cleaning the mess before you posted that story of that blurry video inside your home, because, please don’t tell me your home always looks that clean.
And you know what? If you are a blogger, hence your job is to post pictures that inspire, imagery that makes others dream, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not posting the picture with the double chin. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to clean from everyday reality that spot where you are going to shoot your home to show on your Instagram Stories. In the same way, there is nothing wrong with using ‘crazy’ filters if you genuinely like them and if they feel like a genuine expression of your aesthetic. There is also certainly NOTHING wrong with shooting with a DSLR camera your pictures, because you want to post beautiful, quality content. As a blogger, it’s your fucking job to make inspiring images, because otherwise, why are you blogging? If these images happen to be beautiful, they can also happen to be shot in ‘cheesy’ places. So fucking what?
I want to reclaim the right to dream and the right to make others dream.
Truth is, my life isn’t exciting and I spend most of the time sitting behind a computer either brainstorming, researching, editing, or working on new content and I do not feel there’s anything wrong with me not showing this part of my life. What I love about this job is that you can make your dreams come true through imagery.
And even though I am not the kind that travels or makes impossibly beautiful imagery, I believe it has the right to be. In fact, I believe others have not only the right to, but the obligation to create it. Or what would social media or the world be with pictures portraying only crude, grey, and harsh reality? Kind of like a nightmare, if you ask me. Only dreaming shapes reality and improves it:
“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.”
― Gloria Steinem
If ‘sticking to real’ is your brand and you like posting ‘unedited’ content, then— cool! I hugely respect it, but please don’t intend to define reality or dismiss me as ‘fake’ for doing a job I’ve been doing for the past 6 years and a job that exists for a decade now and has been done exactly like that for so long and before people suddenly and randomly started asking for a more unedited kind of content this year. Because — yes—- it’s a fucking job, whether many want to accept it or not. It might not be the incredibly tough job like that one of a teacher, a nurse, a doctor, or a construction worker, but it is a job, as insanely privileged as it is. The latter is what people need to start understanding and accepting. Why? Because in this way, you know you have to take things with a pinch of salt if you are looking at an impossibly beautiful picture coming from a blogger, since you will now be aware said blogger went a long way and spent countless hours in working on it and creating it. We have to start learning to differentiate and to determine what is what. So if your daughter feels bad, because she can’t make such beautiful imagery, then you can explain her that bloggers create them for a living, spend countless hours, money, effort, etc on them and that this is exactly why not everyone can be a blogger and influencer, regardless of it seeming otherwise.
Don’t get me wrong: I do think that revealing behind-the-scenes moments or showing parts of the process of your work is a positive thing and it is something I am going to eventually incorporate into my work. However, a lot of people are missing the most important aspect about ‘keeping things real’. I think the most important way to keep it real is:
By being authentic, by being humble, by being grateful to the people who have supported you, by being NICE, down-to-Earth, supportive, empowering to others, by not being such an A-hole as soon as you hit 100k followers or as soon as you sign a huge deal with an agency and start believing you are better than everyone else and neglect or ignore the people who brought you to where you are now in the first place, and overall to act as if you achieved nuclear fusion, all which seem to be the case of so many colleagues.
I’ve had several blogger ‘friends’, who, as long as they had fewer followers than me, they seemed so kind and according to them you were ‘their biggest inspiration’, you followed them back and gave them mutual support, until they so got big in order to never speak to you again and pretend they never knew you. And these same colleagues are the ones posting this ‘unstaged’ phone pictures, which —by the way— happen to coincidentally (?) be more algorithm-friendly. Funny that. If you call that being ‘real’, I’m sorry, but perhaps I live in an alternate universe where ‘keeping things real’ looks diametrically different.
From the absurd to the absurder.
Definition of absurd
1 : ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or incongruous
Travelling all the way from Europe to the USA or viceversa in order to take low quality pictures of yourself for your Instagram account in the fugliest possible corners of beautiful cities all in the name of ‘keeping it real’ (or in the name of likes?)? I don’t know what makes me laugh (or cry?) more: the fact that someone is extra travelling thousands of kilometers (as one casually does, obvs) for Instagram just to shoot in locations many people could never even dream of visiting, or the fact that the same person is pretending to ‘keep it real’ by taking pictures of themselves in the fugliest backgrounds in said unreachable locations for the majority. So people protest about how fake the Instagram life is based solely on picture quality but not on the fortunes spent only to show off far away locations in the name of likes? It makes total sense. And it gets odder: Renting super flashy and super expensive cars only to shoot themselves in them with a phone. How realer can you get? Is it ‘keeping it real’ or ‘Keeping Up With You’? Because, baby, you are putting on a show, not living a real life. You might as well at least bother in putting on your show with high quality imagery, because believe me, it doesn’t make a difference.
The fact that so many people are only interested in the visual aspect of reality, not not in the inner one baffles me to no end, because it is double standard and hypocrisy at its best. When I get real and start expressing my discomfort with my experiences with racism, bullying, and the constant bad treatment I’ve received from many colleagues and PR agencies in this field particularly in the past couple of years, then people simply don’t want to hear it! The worst part of it is that it’s so bad, that I am pretty sure that I’m not the only one experiencing this, but that others are scared to point it out and talk about it because of fear of losing followers and being labeled as ‘negative’. I started earlier this year expressing this discomfort and got backlash for it and I’m pretty sure that there will be people saying that I’ve lost so many followers on Instagram because of it, when in reality I had already lost most of what I’ve lost long before I ever even dared to utter a word outside fashion or interior (just to clear it out: I’ve lost almost 30,000 followers since the latest Instagram algorithm became implemented in 2016, as it is normal for an account with a large following to lose a certain percentage of followers a day, but if it doesn’t grow enough due to reaching 75% less people than it used to, then the numbers go on minus!). That’s how a lot of people roll.
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