Wearing: Joseph Asymmetric Sweater (on sale and also here) Mode Collective Sandals c/o, ASOS Leather Pencil Skirt (shop similar here and here), H&M Trend Camel Coat (shop similar here, here, here and here), and a Chloé Bag c/o
Shop the Look:
This is my New Year’s Eve outfit. I didn’t go for a too flashy look, but instead decided to wear something more sober.
The last day of the year is always the best opportunity to reflect upon what you learned during the past year and what you wish to achieve on the next.
That’s why today I’d rather skip all the socalled #humblebrag you’ll read about in certain blogs (as if there was such a thing such as a ‘modestarrogant), where people take the opportunity to actually brag about their achievements during the past year. While it’s good to pat yourself in the back and acknowledge and admire what you have accomplished, boasting about it is something completely else.
Today I would so much prefer to share with you some knowledge I’ve not only learned this year, but also during past years. This is advice I know will serve at least some of you in your interpersonal relations as well as professionally. Scroll down to read all about it.
1. Relationship Detox/Purge. I’m not talking about the green smothie/cleansing juice variety. Reducing levels of toxin intake in your body is a good thing and it cleanses/rejuvenates your organism. However, your life also needs some detox and your mind needs to free itself from toxic relationships.
We all have one or several of those ‘friendships’, relationships, or acquaintances that make us feel bad, uneasy, or sad. Let’s put it like this: A person either loves you or not. It might sound extreme, but it is a either/or kind of thing, there is no middle ground. People who love you will treat you like you deserve and nothing less. Of course, friends can also make mistakes and make you feel lousy, but that’s a whole different thing. I’m talking about the kind of people who are constantly lousy to you or who bother you. They are not real friends and you certainly don’t need them.
Don’t be afraid of getting rid of these people in your life. Don’t fear being alone or being by yourself. Yourself is all you need to go on living and succeed. Of course you also need the people who support you and what you do as well as that one of your family and real friends, but you need yourself above all. You surely don’t need letting someone bother you, you don’t deserve it. Value yourself, love yourself, and don’t let anyone treat you any less than you deserve.
Freeing yourself from toxic people who take advantage of you or who bother you is a hard step. But think about it: You don’t need such a lousy friend or contact. In fact, they are the ones who need you. Go ahead and brave up, and you’ll see how relieving it is and you’ll only feel you should have done it before, that you were being masochistic. Nobody has to deal with jerks.
2. Don’t always follow the norm if you want to achieve great things. Norms, mainstream, or whatever is generally accepted by or appeals the masses can be something benefitial to your career if you follow it and apply it to your work. But does it always coincide with who you really are and what you really want to achieve?
Change is not always a bad thing. We and the world around us is constantly changing and it’s an integral part of life. We evolve as humans and so does our interests, intellect, style, work, etc. Therefore, endorse what makes you be you and let these changes and differences be reflected on your work. Simply be authentic and be yourself, do what you love and don’t let anything dictate you what you should do.
Moreover, basing your work merely on formulas that will give you success without taking risks is simply doing things for the wrong reasons. Besides, adapting to the norm is nothing else than being on a comfort zone and mediocre. No matter if everyone else is doing the same thing. Push your boundaries, take risks, and defy the norm to achieve great things.
3. Be nice, but never too nice to strangers. Because there is such a thing as being too nice, particularly when it comes to interacting with people who you don’t really know very well. I used to be someone who went out my way to help anyone. In an ideal world where everybody is nice to each other, this would work. Alas, this isn’t the case. Despite me being completely aware this can sound ironic and contradictory: Being too nice to people you don’t know well can be harmful to yourself. Naturally, there are exceptions to this, like for instance, when someone has an accident or is in danger, need, or faces a difficult situation. There you should go out of your way.
I went out of my way many times to help people I barely knew. This all led to them taking advantage of me and preying on my kindness. I guess being too nice can sadly send the wrong signals such as appearing to be too naive. Therefore, don’t be too open and extra nice to strangers, as you never know who you are really dealing with and at the end it can work against yourself.
4. Simplify decision-making by trusting your gut. Granted, guts are not always right, but they are also not a magical sixth sense that warns you from potential danger. A gut feeling has a whole rational explanation behind it: It is one or several subconcious observations of real things that you perceive in something or someone. These observations are real details like, for instance, a malicious expression in someone’s face, a nervous movement. Gut feelings are just instincts for survival.
This is also applicable to everyday situations a/o work. For instance, if you are trying to decide which is the best picture for a post, then simply go for the one your gut tells you is the one. This can be due to factors such as standing straight and secure or seeming relaxed and cool. Following gut feelings when you are overwhelmed by everyday decision-making simply makes things easier. And there’s always a rational explanation behind it, so go for it!
5. Competition is good to a certain degree, whereas constantly comparing yourself to others isn’t. This has been said in a lot of blogs ad nauseum. However, it can’t be stressed enough.
A little competition here and there never hurt anyone. In fact, a small dose of competivity is a drive force to be constantly improving yourself and your work. It pushes you to supass your own boundaries. However, cooperation is also something benefitial to individuals and society.
Blogs, for instance, are like menus: they all offer different dishes. There’s is no need to feel threatened by another blogger. There will always be someone who is better than you or has more success than you. Nevertheless, you can channel any negativity into feelings of admiration and learning from these people.
It’s unavoidable and only human to at some point compare yourself to others. But where should this stop? At the point where you stop beating yourself for it. Simply focus on your own work, never stop improving yourself, and don’t let comparison suck you dry. Instead convert this negativity into even better work.
Furthermore, there are two kinds of people who achieve success: The first kind are the ones who work really hard and were determined to achieve what they wanted, the exceptionally gifted, or a mixture of both. The second variety is the one who gets through life and achieves success by taking advantage of others or stepping on them, connections, paying to gain advantages over everyone, and you get what I mean. While you can learn lots from the former category, there is nothing admirable about the latter. Hence, it’s useless to compare yourself with them.
So there you go. Hope you this is useful for at least one of you, even if for some of you this might seem quite obvious.
I want to thank you all of you who have been supporting what I do from the start as well as those of you who just started following my blog and the ones who have been reading me for a while. I am thankful to have the chance to be heard, share my style, and my passion for the things I love to do.
Wishing you all all the best in 2016. Here’s to a year full of positivity, good vibes, success, and lots of love to each and every one of you.
Happy New Year!